Dad Never Taught Me How to Play the Guitar

Dad..I wish I knew you a little more,

I mean..you were present in my life and helped out a ton financially,

I appreciate that,

Will always appreciate that,

But dad..

Love is shown in others ways then just covering the tab,

It’s as if every time you..weight lifted your wallet..your ego grew stronger,

There’s plenty of times I relied on you for a spot..because the weight of life was just overbearing,

You never seemed to understand,

You know dad..

Your silence was always the loudest noise in the house growing up,

Mom received nothing but muted “I love you’s”, “Thank you’s”, “I appreciate you”, “Will you marry me”,

For the longest I never wanted to share the same last name with you..because you weren’t man enough to share it with mom,

Protective of your ego she took care of you..

You never realized she was sweet as those mangos she would cut, peel..then ask you..if you wanted the first piece,

A selfless queen who stayed charged up from the battery of love everyone but you..seemed to provide for her,

The AA..we supplied her,

Wasn’t the same AA..you needed,

Dad..please just put the fuckin bottle down,

I’m sorry, it’s just the emotions you never seemed to show,

Run through me from head to toe,

It’s as if you sew..your mouth shut..when it comes to expressions,

That is..until your hands reach for your guitar,

I remember..growing up,

Every Sunday on your day off..I would hear the..click..of your tape recorder..followed by the sounds of your guitar strings dancing..dancing along to your voice as you sing,

The house would fade into a silence..and we all..would become a part of your concert,

Whether in the middle of brushing your teeth,

Or washing the dishes..your ears couldn’t escape the tune,

This is the closest thing we’ll ever receive to an “I love you”,

Military background, yes I know dad, grandpa was in the army,

Grandpa was tough on you,

Just because grandpa kept a cap on his love..doesn’t mean you can’t put mentos in your coke,

And watch your love explode everywhere,

You have no idea how blinding the smile from your daughter would be everyday..if you just noticed her,

Like damn dad, everything doesn’t have to be so fuckin work related,

I know as a man in your time,

You felt the pressures to provide,

But providing love for your family..is just as important,

I never told you this..but every time I heard your fingers conversing with your guitar strings..I wanted to join the conversation,

I still want to..but dad..we don’t even speak anymore.

I hope the back & forths you have with your guitar are filled with joy,

We’re different in many ways,

But we do share a similarity,

We both use art for our survival.